I have a question that I am not sure how to answer so I am asking for your help. I have been seeing this charming young lady for a number of months now. I am a kinda' closed off partner when it comes to relationships but I let her trim my ear hairs. Does that mean we are starting to bond. If so, maybe next week she can massage my feet after I kick my rubber boots off.

Hey, I traveled back to Utah a couple of weeks ago. Last month I wrote about seagulls flying in Wyoming and how weird that was to me. I mentioned it to a morman friend and he explain that when the mormans settled in the valley around Salt Lake they grew crops of corn. One day crickets or locust showed up destroying the crops and then thousands of seagulls showed up, ate the bugs and saved the crops. The seagull is now the state bird of Utah. There is the great salt lake that is suitable for the birds habitat.

The conversation turned from seagulls to college athletes. I was at Weber State and the womens vollyball team began practicing. One of the guys turned and said, "Look at the size of those girls. I think they are on hemeroids!"

One day my girl friend said something to me and I can't tell if she was messing with me or hinting about something. As I got dressed to go out she said, "I didn't no we were dressing up? I asked, "What do you mean." She said,"You tucked your shirt in." What do you think, messing with me or giving me a hint.

I have been trying for months to catch my son looking at porn on the net. I went behind him and found that he had been looking at Highlifters Forum. I just knew he was in some sort of inapropriate chat room. When I went to the site, I found out it was lifters for his truck. Drats I am going to catch
him someday.

I had the biggest shock and coversation stopper happen to me just the other day. My work took me to and office place where I needed to take some photos. It was a doctors office. We were walking around looking for a good place to take the photo. I was talking to the doctor and the nurses when I walked through a door into a patient waiting room and there it was on the wall. A large full color poster of a females most private parts. I was in a gynocologist office. Now let me tell you, I was tongue tied. The only thing I could think of to say was, "Now that is a nice illustration." They all thought it was funny and I think my face is still red.

Well school started back this week. As I dropped my son off, there were young influential students adjusting their pants downward by the dozens. I guess you must look as stupid as possible to be the coolest. I wonder if these young, briallant students, that are the future of our community realize that this fashion statement comes from prison culture. Now, I don't mean that by dressing like this you are the toughest in the yard. By dressing like that in prison means you are ready to be someones next boy friend, if you know what I mean.

Our young students have been sucked into a hip hop culture that dumbs down America and sets our youth up for failure. Imagine if we didn't have the uniform dress code. It is sad that government has to legislate common sense to this generation.

When I started school in the 1st grade I didn't have to worry about kids bringing guns to school or being singled out because of how I dressed. In my day if someone was a smart ass or disrespectful to you, we had a solution. At reccess you would simple knock their block off and that in itself would regulate the jerks and disrupters in school.

One of our biggest worries was raising our hands and asking to go to the bathroom. My friend Joey Reddick raised his hand repeatedly and was turned down several times to a bathroom break. He raised his hand one last time and ask to go to the closet and get his book sack. The teacher allowed him to do that. Later that day Joey and I were riding the bus home. I noticed an unpleasant aroma. Joey opened his book sack and showed me he had pooped in it. The Marines call this adapting and over coming. Maybe he was thinking and making the best of a bad situation. He may have ended up as an engineer. He had a problem and came up with a solution.

Maybe todays warddrode is just a jump start on pooping in your book sack.

If I am going to dress like a criminal I should at least have my pants around my knees and my drawers hanging out. If the police show up my pants will simply trip me because I can't run far anyway because I have no athletic skills and certainly don't want to break a sweat.

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