THOUGHTS FROM BULLY: I Drove Through Alabama and Survived!!!

You know I recently reread some of the articles and this one is no different. It is full of the stupid Jerry Springer type antics that you guys, my readers, apparently continue to read.

Here You go... My family and I headed to Tennessee to share and celebrate the new year. While in route down I-12 I crossed the Mississippi border and immediatly noticed that there is a difference between Louisiana Interstate Highways and Mississippi Interstate Highways. The difference is called smooth'.

When was the last time you rode down a smooth highway in this state? Maybe if you drove on the beach of Grand Isle and that is no guarantee that you wouldn't hit some drift wood or and old ice chest. I then noticed as I drove through the state that there were at least 12 individual deer carcasses on the side of the road. We then entered Alabama.

The wilderness in Alabama is very much like Mississippi and I am sure that they have just as many deer that border the highways of the the state. However, after traveling many miles up Interstate 59, in Alabama, I realize that I haven't seen any road kill. The Tennessee state line sign approached and wouldn't you know there was an unfortunate deer that thought it might battle some headlights within 10 yards of the states's Welcome Sign'.

Now I am from Mississippi and  I may be prejudice by I think Alabamans pick up the road kill and eat it. That's right I think Alabama is far more progessive than Mississippi in consumer concervation of... ROAD KILL!!

Now does this mean they are hungry in Alabama or are they more socially environmentally conscious about wasting food and have politically correct thoughts of, "Please don't waste food, and think of the starving people around the world." Creepy...

As I traveled thru Tuscaloosa and headed for Birmngham I noticed that the cars on the three lane interstate highway were hauling butt. They were driving at least 75 to 85 mph. Liscense plates from New York, Michigan, Illinois were traveling the road. Plates from Missouri, Tennessee and Georgia zoomed by our car. There were blue haired ladies driving faster than me and I was doing 75mph. There were trucks pulling motorhomes and horse trailers passing me by. At that moment it dawned on me. I was in Alabama and just like me, no one else on the road wanted to be in Alabama. Therefore they were   getting their butts out of the state as fast as they could.

I then came over a hill and there he was. A state trooper shooting radar. What a joke. He reminded me of a grizzly bear trying to catch spawning trout. Speeders were everywhere. He then pulled over a car that had NDNOB written on his windows. It stood for Notre Dame New Orleans Bound. The officer should have impounded his car and saved him from experiencing that butt kicking the LSU Tigers put on the Irish. I hope he at least ticketed the yankee in true southern fashion.

I guess I shouldn't get on the Alabamans to much about harvesting the road kills. I once saw a deer on the side of the road early on a cold morning while bringing my son to school. It was a cold morning therefore I thought it probably would be good to skin. I went home, grabbed my trailer and my guitar, as I had a guitar lesson, and proceeded to head back for the road kill. I was right it was good and as a liscensed hunter it was legal for me to transport. I put it on my trailer and headed for Zeaglers music on Florida Blvd. The looks I was getting from the locals. I don't know what's wrong with those Baton Rouge people. I was a beautiful animal. Just because his tongue was hanging out is no reason to freak.

I learned later that day some friends of mine had seen the same deer and started to turn around to do just what I had done but saw me drive by with my empty trailer. One simply said, "Forget it. Bully's getting it!" I cleaned it, salvaged three legs and fed some to my mother-in-law in a sauce piquante.